hello you person.

Feel sorry for yourself. And pamper yourself as a doting mother would.

Ok, but seriously I’m not sure if this is some common practice in India or some crap like that… but I found a great method to clear my head. It was born of my love of steam. I’m fond of steam… saunas, dryers, dishwashers, showers, steam engines… unless it’s scalding hot, I’m down with it. Anyway, it’s very very dry in the winter and it feels like I’m breathing knives with my sore throat. And being as I don’t have humidifier I decided to boil some water on my GE stove. After a while I put in on low and stick my face over the large pot. mmmm… steam. nice. But what would make it even better? Some Vick’s.

I scurry off to the bathroom to fetch some of the greasy balm. So I scoop out some Vick’s Vapor Rup with the opposite end of a fork and stir it into the warm water. After a few moments, sweet relief rushed to my embattled sinuses! Then I thought… I like the smell of tea too. So I grab a large Lipton tea bag (which was supposedly only to make iced tea) and let it soak in there. The sweet aroma of tea in my lungs felt so good that I thought I might see how other items smelled steamed.

I put in a peppermint, some various herbs, a few Dole blueberries (I wondered why I was going to put them in there as I was doing it… but proceeded to do so anyway), and some “Oriental Essence” green tea lotion with Dead Sea Salt.

The Brach’s peppermint and herbs worked well… but the lotion kind of made me feel like I was inhaling Lot’s wife (which in all probablity I was). Did you ever hear that every time you take a breath you inhale at least 2 nitrogen atoms atoms that ever other human being that has ever lived has breathed. Yeah… I don’t buy that. I think scientists like to make claims that no one can possibly prove wrong. Oh, well THIS particle wasn’t breathed by Genghis Khan’s right-hand henchman OR Dave Thomas the former Wendy’s owner!!! ehhh… retarded.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the product and brand placements I’ve sprikled throughout my dialoge. As an advertising major it made me notice how everything in the world is just one big commercial. They don’t even make toys that aren’t somehow tied to a kids TV show anymore. And some movies border on ridiculous with their absurd worlds where Budweiser is the only beer and people only drive brand new GM vehicles.

ANYWAY…  whe you’re sick… Feel sorry for yourself. And pamper yourself as a doting mother would. Because we all know choosy moms choose Jif.