The perfect man

All I had to do to put myself in place of this “super-hunk” Edward dude is make myself look even more pasty and creepy than I already look. He’s supposedly “the perfect guy” (never seen the movie, or read the book)… but from what my brother Ben tells me… he’s a real creeper. I guarantee that chicks would flee from this guy if they met “Edward” in real life.
“Oh… so you mainly drink animal blood and not people blood anymore. That’s cool I guess.”