Jun
15
2009
0

I am now a 20% better singer! And you can’t too!

Yesterday, was a lazy Sunday (other than my bike ride through the forest). So I lounged around strumming my 6-string (6-string = “guitar” for those of you not familiar with the lingo the kids use with these days). I was singing an original composition in which I want to sing loudly at  pitches slightly out of my range.

Ok, let’s try something right now. Make sure you are alone (or if you are not alone make sure you are only around people whose opinions you don’t care about). Now quietly sing “laaa” near the top of your range. Now belt out the same “LAAAA” as loud as you can. What does it sound like? It sounds like crap. And your voice probably cracked like pre-pubescent boy.

However on this occasion I made my “LAAA” sound like I was friggin [insert name of famous opera singer here]. I had recalled advice from a singing lesson CD my dad had bought. It had suggested that rather than singing “on your vocal chords” you sing “on the mask of your face”. It sounds stupid, but you sort of just project the sound into your sinuses or something and it resonates… or something.

My singing now sounds 20% less strained and nasally! (but 5% more effeminate)

Written by luke is me in: luke thoughts | Tags: , , , , ,
Jun
06
2009
3

Smile Inducing Surfing

Hey girl! Wanna go for a ride?

Hey girl! Wanna go for a ride?

Ahh the beer scooter. The best $400 you’ll ever spend. I’d love to travel cross-country on this 13 mph-capable beast, spreading happiness and brewskys wherever I went. However, I’d have to equip it with a heavy duty battery so I could last more than 15 miles per charge.

AHHH AHH OoH! Mail for you!

AHHH AHH OoH! Mail for you!

Words cannot describe how much I love this Mail Chimp’s logo. I mean… a monkey… delivering mail… that is brilliant… that is hysterical. It doesn’t matter what kind of company you are… you NEED a monkey as your mascot or present in your logo. You CANNOT command the respect of the marketplace without one. I mean liquor brands, day spas, dentists, power tools, politicians… they all need a monkey present somewhere in their marketing efforts.

hmmm....

hmmm....

If only everyone was as immature as me. Then and only then will they see the error in their ways.

First- Time Magazine Next- SI Swimsuit Issue

First- Time Magazine Next- SI Swimsuit Issue

I just launched a site where you can edit/skew quotations from famous people to humorous effect. It’s called Quote dotdotdot and I think it would behoove you to check it out.

Written by luke is me in: luke thoughts | Tags: , , , , , ,
May
24
2009
2

Why can’t I run?

Why can’t I run? My knees and back are fine. I’m a spry 23-year-old and am physically capable of running in every way. So why can’t I run? (don’t worry, this isn’t a rhetorical question… I’ll answer myself right… now) Society. Society tells me I can’t run. There’s no law against running and there aren’t signs everywhere (no skateboarding) telling me not to. It’s simply a social moor that tells me that I can’t, that it would be silly and foolish TO run. But for a society that preaches “time is money” it would be foolish not to run.

Have to walk all the way down the hall to the bathroom? Run there… be back working at your desk in no-time. Productivity in this country would skyrocket! The financial implications alone should convince companies to experiment in implementing a mandatory running policy (not to mention fitter employees). “Oh, but Luke there will be high speed collisions and people will get hurt.” Yeah… that’s what those nay-sayers said about a little invention called The Automobile. So just widen the hallways at work and paint a little yellow line in the middle. In America we can run on the right side of the hallway. So we have to be careful when we visit other countries where they will run on the left side of the hallway. If we need to enter a doorway we will simply point at the door we want to enter and repeatedly say “I’m going in that door… I’m going in that door…” Now that isn’t so hard. If you own a business, get a leg up on the competition and implement this tactic NOW!

I almost forgot, I AM allowed to run at certain times and places. I am allowed to run on my stride-trainer at my house… and whilst tethered to a treadmill or elliptical at the gym. However, I am allowed to run for nothing but the sake of running itself. My motivation for this could be physical fitness… but I am not allowed to do anything productive beyond this with my running. I cannot run for the sole intent of going to the store and getting a loaf of bread… then running home with the aforementioned bread. No, that would look quite silly. You always here people say “Oh I gotta go run here”. But they aren’t really running are they… no they’re DRIVING. I had a friend who lived across the street from a grocery store. His mom drove there. God forbid anyone has to cross a street on anything but four wheels.

Children run everywhere. Why? It’s the quickest way to get between two places. And plus, it’s kind of fun. Why don’t we learn from their example? Sadly society has robbed us of our innocence and told us we are not allowed to have fun or act childish. Yesterday I really wanted to run through Home Depot to get to the appliance department quicker… but I would feel weird… so I walked.

There was a kid we called “Turbo” when I was in school. He ran wherever he went. He was a laughing stock… but why? He got where he needed to be on-time, and he didn’t sacrifice a single moment of his life for a society that tells us “we have to walk everywhere”. Turbo… you are my hero. Run on my friend. Run like the wind.

Written by luke is me in: luke thoughts | Tags: , , , , , ,
May
16
2009
2

Busy busy

Sorry to my faithful reader(s). I have put off posting to this blog for far too long. It seems after staring at a computer screen (actually 2 of them) for 8 hours a day… I never quite feel like booting up my old laptop when I get home.

I promise you this… I WILL have another post this month. And it’ll be decent.

Maybe two posts, but now you’d just be getting greedy.

I know I’m interesting, and I know the people want more. But there’s just not enough of my time to go around.

I am working on a few websites right now (when I say working, I mean putting off) and I will let you know what they are and what there purpose is upon completion.

I don’t make a post in two months… and I come back with this POS self serving stuff. Oh, nevermind… that’s what the rest of my posts are as well. My bad.

Written by luke is me in: Uncategorized |
Mar
10
2009
2

The noise…THE NOISE

Today I am just unable to handle all the noise pollution that is flooding my ears. My circuits are overloaded and over My  There are always multiple conversations going on, both on the phone and in person, chairs rolling, keyboards typing (you seriously don’t need to pound on them), the stapling and shuffling of papers, a loud annoying early 90’s printer, the clacking and jingling of the receptionists Chinese stress balls (which are used to transfer stress from the user to other people around), phones ringing and if the person the call is for isn’t available we get a lovely page that’s heard from every single persons phone. Plus there’s the walkie-talkie system where people always state their names (Jeeeeeremy this is Randy! Hey Randy it’s Jeremy where you at?), even though their voice is perfectly recognizable. The worst is the taping of boxes for shipping… it’s on level with nails on a chalk board. And when theres taping to be done… there’s like 12 min of taping to be done. Errrrrpp! Errrrpp!

Ok I stepped outside for a minute into the nice cool air… that’s a little better.

Written by luke is me in: luke thoughts |
Feb
24
2009
0

I’m giving stand-up comedy another go!

I last performed a stand-up comedy routine in 2004. It went very well in my opinion. However, besides playing guitar and joking around I haven’t ventured into this area since. I saw there was a contest for comics. So I signed up. I think I have some solid material… however I really really need to finalize my routine. It’ll be an experience : ) and if I win I get $250 and an opening slot for another show.

If anyone is interesting in attending, here is the info:

Backwaters

March
Fri. 6th – Comedy Night Doors Open at 8pm – Show Starts at 9:30pm
Call for reservations 217-224-4102

Fri. 6th – Best Comic Stand – 6 Local Amateur Comics.
2 will move on to the finals.

Written by luke is me in: Uncategorized | Tags:
Feb
23
2009
0

We trust Google to map our earth and our ocean…

However they can’t even spell the name of one of Missouri’s major commercial hubs right. Having 3 pawn shops has to get you some kind of respect right?

At least there are none of those pesky city names in the ocean.

At least there are none of those pesky city names in the ocean.

At least there’s not to many city names to get wrong for Google Ocean. There’s umm Atlantis.

Written by luke is me in: luke thoughts | Tags: , ,
Feb
02
2009
1

Does this make me evil?

Sebastian the limbless kitty

Po widdow kudduh

Po' widdow kudduh

This kitten looks absolutely miserable and kind of seems like it wants to die. However, my first reaction was to laugh (and my second reaction was to laugh some more).

I kind of feel bad that I’m taking pleasure in the misery of a helpless little creature. I hope he comes to terms with his affliction and realizes that there’s so much to live for! Hmmm, well probably not… But he’s far cuter with no appendages than I’d ever be.

Written by luke is me in: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,
Jan
27
2009
2

I thought I was sooooo special

Evidently I’m no longer the only Luke Westberg in the world (and haven’t been for about 17 years). Well I hope he tries to sign up for a website and sees that lukewestberg.com is taken. Yeah, go ahead and take the .net address… that’s what you get for being #2 sucka!

Woo... I made a game winning touchdown! What a d-bag.

"Woo... I made a game winning touchdown!" What a d-bag.

Ehh… I’m just kidding brother. Awesome name. And I’m not just saying that cuz you could probably beat me up ; )

Written by luke is me in: Uncategorized | Tags: ,
Jan
23
2009
0

Luke on Wikipedia

This information is taken directly from wikipedia. I was casually browsing and came upon the entry for my name. I found the last entry particularly amusing. I’ve tried to post things on wikipedia and everything got deleted for one reason or another, so I’m pretty surprised this slipped past.

Famous people known as Luke include:

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